At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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