She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize