I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
