are you still at the devil's house?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
