there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
