ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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