Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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