Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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