You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
