If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
