I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
