I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize