Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
