There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
