sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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