how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
