dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
