he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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