Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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