I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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