He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
