I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
