Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
