You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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