Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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