I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
