well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
