Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
