Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
