You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Its about making memories worth repressing
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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