She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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