...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
