As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
