Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
