my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
