i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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