I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
