I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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