But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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