i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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