do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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