Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I love you. Go after that dick
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