O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize