Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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