That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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