Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
