I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
