whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
