My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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