the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
