It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
