Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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