You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
