I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
