i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
