Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
