I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize