i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
