Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
