I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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