We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
