It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
