I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize