I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What a dumb baby whore.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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